I’ve noticed that when I finish something, a total feeling of emptiness comes. Toward the thing I was working on, I suddenly feel nothing at all. Just empty. And in that moment I stop, thinking it’s not it. Have you also stopped a million times right before finishing?

There should be fulfillment. There’s nothing

At the moment when I have something about 95% done and it’s just administrative and practical little things left before I put it out, I expect a deep feeling of satisfaction, fulfillment, connection, happiness! Instead, there’s always emptiness and thoughts like what the hell am I doing??

And this is where I always stop

This moment completely knocks me out every time. Instead of the depth and intense sense that had been connecting me to the article (or whatever I wanted to put out) for maybe a whole month, I suddenly felt nothing at all.

Instead of pushing through, I always hit reverse. I got scared that I was doing something wrong and that I was putting out the wrong thing.

Not just with work — I can´t even buy things, lol

And the same thing happens when I’m shopping. As soon as I find what I was looking for, instead of feeling excited I just freeze, because all the feelings of why I wanted it so much suddenly disappear. It completely paralyzes me, and I just leave it there!

Of course, the moment I got home, I started going off at myself — why the hell didn’t I buy it when it was exactly what I was looking for and I wanted it so much? I couldn’t explain it.

A problem for people who need to feel meaning

People who don’t dig into themselves that much and are more oriented around ticking off tasks, to-do lists and plans, probably don’t have this problem, or don’t notice it. But people who use a big part of themselves and their feelings in what they do can easily get thrown off by this ugly moment.

It doesn’t make sense. Why does this feeling come right before finishing? And that’s exactly why it’s scary.

If this feeling came after I published the article, I wouldn’t be surprised and it would even feel logical. I’d be done, it would be out, and no more work would be needed. Of course the topic would close. But when this feeling comes right before I finish it, it catches me off guard and I get scared.

Not just empty. Meaningless

The problem is that with that feeling of emptiness, any sense of meaning in what I’m doing disappears too. Suddenly there’s nothing there. Suddenly I’m flooded with thoughts like what am I even doing? And why? This is complete nonsense… And then comes the feeling of disconnection and it’s over.

The process does not end — It changes

So I left a lot of things unfinished just because I thought they had lost their meaning. But that’s not true. It’s a completely normal thing that happens in the creative process! You just need to know about it so you don’t completely mess it up for no reason.

Up to this point, you’re running purely on inspiration, guidance, vision. But to actually get the thing out, you need to switch into a completely different mode.

From inspiration to realization. This is where it breaks

When you’re creating something, you need yourself. Your vision, your guidance, your ideas. And they carry you on a wave of deep excitement about where it’s all going.

Finishing steps. Uf!

To get the thing out, for the final stretch you need to turn on a completely different part of yourself that you’re not used to using and that you might not even like that much. Your realization self. The part that finishes things, regardless of feelings or time, and just completes the task and puts reality together.

And that shift in feeling is so radical that it scared me every single time. Oh god, this is wrong! I can’t put this out, I don’t feel anything!

And this is where you run…

This is exactly where I always turned around and left. Because at that point nothing is carrying you anymore. No wave, no depth, no sense of meaning. Just emptiness and an annoying thing that needs to be finished.

What to do about it (unfortunately simple)

At that moment, the only thing you need to do is turn on your awareness and your realization self and finish it. No analysis, no hesitation, just take it to the end and publish it. Feeling or no feeling.

The nice feeling stays. You just can’t feel it in the last 5% of the work. Count on it.

That deep feeling of connection comes back later, when you can return to the finished piece and enjoy it, seeing it out there.