Have you ever thought that happiness doesn’t always have to be fought for like a wrestling match? No? Neither did I. Not until this story.

I honestly just stared in disbelief when I saw my friend succeed through calm instead of effort — living a happy life built on simple contentment rather than the usual juicy drama, and somehow getting further by easing up than by pushing. Like — what?

“How are you?” one of them asked the other in a soothing voice.

The other day I passed two middle-aged women on the street. They were friends who had run into each other by chance.

“How are you?” one of them asked the other in a soothing voice.

“So, how are you?” she asked again just to be sure, tilting her head and placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

It was obvious. That’s how you ask when you want to squeeze sympathy out of someone and hear that they’re doing badly.

Her friend didn’t disappoint.

“Oh, completely fucking awful!”

“How are you?” the girls greeted me at the pub and I answered with my eyes wide open.

“How are you?” the girls greeted me at the pub with smiles as soon as I dropped my jacket and sat down.

“I’m doing great!” I replied with my eyes wide open, almost slamming my fist on the table in triumph. I was proud of myself for being able to say it.

My friend blinked, and before she had time to take a breath, I added, “I’m focused on happiness!” I launched straight into the pub debate. “I’m reading this great book about self-confidence…”

The three of us were sitting at the table, developing a discussion about happiness, when a friend arrived and caught the last few words.

“Wow, you’ve been sitting here at least since five, right?” he laughed at a topic that usually only comes up after a few beers. It was half past seven and we had only just begun.

When asked how he was doing, he answered in a typically male way: “Good…”

His brief “good” meant roughly this — he’s getting married. He met his future wife after a football match. An acquaintance introduced him to a colleague from work. We also learned that he’ll be moving into his own place for the first time. His dad struck up a conversation on the street with some random old lady. And the old lady happened to be selling a flat.

In my head, I was expecting some drama. Buying a flat now, and in the capital city on top of that? That couldn’t just go smoothly. It did. She said she didn’t want much for it. That they had travelled a lot and money wasn’t important to them. That’s insane! I whistled to myself.

If you think my friend jumped at the offer immediately, then no. First, he stayed calm for two weeks. And then he said to himself that he might as well give the flat a try…

“So, are you reading anything these days? Anything interesting?” we asked him hopefully, though now a bit suspiciously.

“I’m not reading anything…” the male representative of our gathering didn’t disappoint.

Is that even possible? I asked myself silently, while my friend voiced the quiet reproach out loud: “And he doesn’t even read!”

We all laughed.

“You´re such a calm types, aren´t you?” he said, amused.

We started talking about how each of us stays okay. All of us sitting there worked with people, more or less.

“When I get angry at work, I go water the plants. So they’re constantly overwatered and dead,” the first of us described the frequency with which she releases her emotions.

“They’re only dry when I go on vacation…” she added.

“I have to get up and go do something else. Anything!” the second one added, really stressing that last word.

“And I write a journal,” I joined in. “And I write until I get everything out of myself.”

Our friend was amused. “You’re such calm types, aren’t you?” he remarked, and it pleased me. Apparently, life happiness doesn’t always have to be wrestled into existence by force.